We all want to get the best out of people. We want our teams to thrive. Getting the best from people means allowing them to think for themselves.
So, it is odd that in meetings we set our teams up to fail. We are distracted, multi-tasking, checking emails, interrupting, and competing for attention.
The drive is for quick action and quick decision-making. This is only increasing the fear, panic and confusion that is slowly eroding resilience in our organisations.
We are not thinking clearly. It’s impacting everything we do.
“The quality of everything we do depends on the thinking we do first. And the quality of our thinking depends on the attention we are given when we are thinking.” – Nancy Kline
The solution is simple and starts with making a decision to find ease, to shift your attention onto the person thinking, rather than onto your next brilliant response or solution. To give attention, not your validation, but to hold the space for the person, believing that they can truly think for themselves.
Things to try
The first thing you can do is practice giving attention. In your next 1-2-1 I challenge you to put everything down, ask a question and then listen. No notes, no affirming noises, no facial expressions. Just your attention. It will feel very odd at first but notice and ask – how far can this person go in their thinking without help from me? You will be surprised by what happens.
The second thing you can do is think about how you could help everyone think well in meetings.
How to guide
Here are four actionable steps you can take to help get the best out of your team and transform meetings forever.
- Check in: At the start of every meeting, check in. Ask everyone to respond to a simple opening question. Something like “What has sparked your interest recently?” Linking the question to the agenda will help make this valuable. The purpose is to give everyone a voice from the start. Everyone will notice who is present and connect with them.
- Ask questions: Prepare the agenda items in the form of a question. We think best in response to a question. It will help people prepare for meetings more effectively.
- Speak in rounds: Before breaking into discussion, ask everyone to share their thinking in a round. Taking turns to think and speak with no interruption and in an agreed order. Only after the round can others interject. This helps those who struggle to speak up. If you know you have a turn, you are able to give attention to others.
- Show appreciation: Notice what is good and say it. Close the meeting with something you have appreciated about the meeting, the topic, the chair, whatever is appropriate.
Guest Blog by Emily Petty
Emily Petty is a Time to Think Facilitator and offers a one-day Transforming Meetings workshop to help you and your team transform how you think and work together.
Contact her to talk about how this work could support you and your team hello@emilypettyconsulting.com. Her website is https://www.emilypettytraining.com/.
